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Welcome to Dame Wotta Tripp's Rich Treasure Trove of Advice!



Welcome to Dame Wotta Tripp's Advice Column - A Rich Treasure Trove of Advice for all!

Dame Wotta Tripp has been giving superlative advice to disturbed persons since before 1873, and is well qualified to deal with all of your little peculiarities.


If you tell the entire truth to Dame Wotta Tripp you can rest assured she will respect both your problems and your privacy.


When you email her in order to receive her sterling advice, as you probably will, please include your preferred email address and as much personal information as is necessary for Wotta Tripp to be able to help you with your own unique personal quandary and to shed a light into any other gremlin-ridden labyrinth of dilemmas that you may presently be wandering through alone and helpless. 



Dame Wotta Tripp at Work In Her Website


Dame Wotta Tripp Says:

You may burden me with your awful secrets (both new and old) and lean on me in your many hours of need.

If you are one of the fortunate few who do not need my help, or prefer to fend for yourself, then feel free to browse the helpful letters.

Feel your heartstrings vibrate wih concern as you read the pitiful tales of woe and witness the heart-felt pleas for help I receive daily!

Read my compassionate replies and discover the soothing relief from worry and anxiety that is experienced by those receiving my matchless advice.

And who knows, you might come upon your own or a similar shadowy problem while browsing the catalog of agonies that writhe within the average human mind.

Always willing to help...

...Dame Wotta Tripp


Email Wotta Tripp immediately, if not sooner. Do this right now to disclose your horrible and pressing problems and receive the sweet relief of getting the advice you need from Dame Wotta Tripp.


 E-mail Dame Wotta Tripp For Advice Now! 


If you are fortunate your letter wil be answered in her column & you too will receive

Dame Wotta Tripp's Excellent Advice






Select from among the letters below to read Dame Wotta Tripp's excellent advice:


  • What The Dickens?
    Dame Wotta Tripp advises a man who is working on a breeding experiment to discover the benefits of crossing a chicken with a duck.
  • 4-Bottle Technique
    Dame Wotta Tripp counsels a young farmer who is being taken advantage of by his entire family.
  • Talk Backwards to Me
    Dame Wotta Tripp receives an insult in a letter written to her advice column and feels that she must discipline the writer.
  • Ostrich Leather
    A woman with an ostrich farm writes for advice telling Dame Wotta Tripp that she secretly hates the birds that took over her life at an early age, preventing her from fulfilling her dreams.
  • Seeing Eye to Eye on Fidelity Issue
    A lady writes for advice to Dame Wotta Tripp in a panic after shooting her husband dead and finding a tiny image of herself imprinted on his retina.
  • Delirious Fetish Dressing for Wedding Salads
    A man who wishes to throw salad dressing all over his bride and guests at his own up-coming wedding due to a fetish gets a dressing-down from Dame Wotta Tripp.
  • Stealing People Is Wrong
    After loneliness drives a person to steal somebody and lock them up for three months in a basement, they write to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice on giving the abducted victim back.
  • Absolute Loyalty Demanded By Goat Flayer
    A young girl falls head-over-heels in love with a serial killer - who else could she turn to for advice but Dame Wotta Tripp?
  • Wotta Tripp Is Too Late!
    Henry Hatter passes away in a freak accident that not even Dame Wotta Tripp could avert! All she can do is comfort his shattered family.
  • Amazing Fortune at Bus Stop!
    A young lady receives the unusual offer of an otherworld fairy marriage while waiting at the bus stop, and Dame Wotta Tripp attempts to make her see what a lucky girl she is!
  • A Slight Magical Hiccup
    A terrible fate awaited those who crosed this jealous teen when she tried her hand at black magic and inadvertently wreaked havoc. Can Dame Wotta Tripp help?
  • Tantric Mishaps Reveal Inadequate Companion
    A series of misadventures with candles and snakes cause a dreadful situation during the 'Blissful Flutters' introductory course to Tantric sex. What will Dame Wotta Tripp recommend?
  • Fowl Play
    A person who is intent on researching whether or not chickens cross roads receives a stern reaction from Dame Wotta Tripp, who feels her time is being wasted.
  • Swarming With Dwarfs At The 'Ferrets Revenge'!
    Dame Wotta Tripp counsels a broken man who had a terrible experience one night after being trapped in a public house after-hours.
  • Where Do Men Store Their Egos? Straight Shooting Advice
    Dame Wotta Tripp counsels a woman who plans to shoot her cheating lover in the ego, believing it to be the largest area of the body and wishing to know whereabouts it is.
  • Pale, Hairless and Would Never Fit In Anyway.
    Dame Wotta Tripp attempts to help a young lady who is pregnant due to an alien abduction.
  • Demonic Terror Unleashed
    A ouija board used foolishly in a teen game unleashes a demon that leads to Shifty the dog's demise and Mitzi's possession. Only Dame Wotta Tripp knows what will happen next.
  • When it Comes to the Crunch
    A distressed neice pleads for help from Dame Wotta Tripp when an uncle disturbs the entire household eating eggshells and crunching them in an extremely noisy manner each day.
  • I Know Where You Live
    Someone wasting Dame Wotta Tripp's time receives only a veiled threat in reply from the impatient 'first lady' of advice
  • Liquored-Up Beasts
    According to Dame Wotta Tripp, the planet is packed full of creatures who deliberately attempt to imbibe alcohol for its pleasurable and intoxicating effects.
  • The Dreadful Secrets of Dust
    Thinking too deeply about dust has eerie consequences for a person with OCD. Can Dame Wotta Tripp help?
  • Dear Dam Wotta Tipp Lady
    A group of men from a distant land contact Dame Wotta Tripp because they have a very important question for her.
  • Floating Posers Make Retinal Fairies Take Flight!
    Dame Wotta Tripp is asked for help by a woman who once believed she could see fairies and would now like to be able to see real ones.
  • Me sheila’s Missing
    A sexist Australian farmer loses his wife and then complains to Dame Wotta Tripp hoping for advice, which he liberally receives.
  • Scrupulously Clean Bottom
    A girl is certain that the animals she loves and that her relatives disapprove of are cleaner than some of her family members, so she asks Dame Wotta Tripp for moral support.
  • Hey
    Dame Wotta Tripp thinks that a boyfriend who believes unsubstantiated gossip about his girl may not be worth keeping around.
  • Help from Zimbabwe
    A naiive and immature would-be aviator lacking a shrewd business head might get more than he bargained for when he writes to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice.
  • In and Out
    Dame Wotta Tripp receives a happy up-date letter from Phillip Bruce Nugent VII in Australia, whose Sheila was missing.
  • Darkness Gathers
    Dame Wotta Tripp has little compassion for a letter-writer who seems to have lost all hope.
  • Co-Respondent in Detroit
    When a man's wife repeatedy puts him out with the garbage each week Dame Wotta Tripp knows it's time to help him out.
  • Concrete Proof is in the Graham Pudding
    A sinister overnight visit with an elderly aunt almost costs a man his life, and Dame Wotta Tripp must warn him never to return unless he wants to sleep with the ornamental koi in aunty's garden pond.
  • Time to Join the Real World, Baby
    Dame Wotta Tripp gives some matter-of-fact advice to a woman experiencing bad luck.
  • Soul Services
    A distressed schoolboy writes to Dame Wotta Tripp explaining he sold his soul and now wants it back. Wotta Tripp delivers a stern warning regarding the marketing of souls in general.
  • Man Killed by Enraged Cabbage Whites
    Dame Wotta Tripp recounts the sad story of a man who meets a sorry end in Kentucky at the hands of militant right-wing cabbage whites.
  • Advice Column Testimonials
    Happy clients submit testimonials about their resolved issues after writing to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice.


Wotta Tripp is Twottering 





Dame Wotta Tripp Is For Hire!
Pay her good money to destroy your rival's (or your own) website, magazine or company with her exemplary advice and articles. No business too large!


"Once you see her, you will never forget her" is exactly true, when you're talking about DWT. Dazzling demonstrations of mind reading! She had the audience in the palm of her hand & blew us away by accurately revealing our inner thoughts! She divulged phone numbers, social security numbers, personal addresses & the names of lovers, all while still making us laugh, smile and dance!"

- Trend Realty Executives Awards 

Dame Wotta Tripp drew vast amounts of business my way due to the publicity surrounding the court case - I would recommend her writing with absolutely no reservations (it's too late anyway) wottsoever.

- London Ted

"We thank Dame Wotta Tripp again for her  presentation which was incredibly entertaining and frankly, astounding! Those of us who are still working here look forward to seeing her at next year's culling."

- Black Tide Commerce, Inc. 

Dame Wotta Tripp Can Help Even You

Click on the picture above to see how Wotta Tripp can help even you!

"All  barriers of race and custom disappeared because of her phenomenal audience interaction. The fact that Wotta Tripp got a lengthy standing ovation from this diverse group as they tried to find the exit before smoke engulfed the building shows that she is the absolute best!" 

- Grieve & Associates


"The rave reviews about Dame Wotta Tripp 's performance are still circulating . Her sizzling presentation wrapped up our awards banquet, both at the Yacht Club and afterwards in the hospital emergency room. She blew us out of the water!"   

- Edge Commerce 2011 Global Sales Kick-Off


"Dame Wotta Tripp's customized presentation reinforced our message of client connectivity in a unique and memorable way, while her mentalism demonstrations were not only out of this world, but also eerie! How does she know so much? How does she tell you not only the city and address of your home, but then also describe what the rooms look like from the inside and how you behave in them when you're having an episode?"

- Beyond Hope Mental Health Association 


"Dame Wotta Tripp brought laughs, amazement, and fun to our meeting, providing magic audience participation, with people repeatedly appearing and disappearing all night long. This set a perfect tone for our year's-end meeting."

- Association for the Visually Impaired


"Thankfully, there is no way that anyone else can do what Dame Wotta Tripp does. During cocktails Dame Wotta mingled with us all and performed some of her one-on-one psychic readings and then remained after her presentation for almost twelve hours, reading minds and talking to our customers, all the while keeping the exit doors magically locked ... incredible!"

- Entwhistle Locksmiths' Association


"At our National Manager’s meeting Dame Wotta was fantastic. Her informative, inspirational, yet entertaining presentation struck straight to the heart of the matter. Right after the event her books went flying right off the table! Fortunately, there were few injuries reported and the evenings undertakings continued in a sensational manner. Nobody can hold a candle to her!"

- Phoenix Casket Company, Inc. 


"Dame Wotta Tripp's performance stopped traffic & mesmerized the crowd. However, she didn’t stop there, creating a huge buzz at our show by drawing thousands of attendees & successfully driving qualified leads right through our booth. The loud splintering noises attracted a huge crowd. You get more than your money's worth, when you use Wotta Tripp!"

-  Fortune Construction Ltd.


"Dame Wotta Tripp did a fantastic job helping our movement become the center of attention on the trade show floor. We more than doubled our total traffic and had a whopping increase in leads. We have never, ever had to change the toilet rolls at our trade show before - we had to change them twice this year! The best money we’ve ever spent!"

- Blinding Insight Movement


 Dame Wotta Tripp Advice
 Who is Dame Wotta Tripp?
 Wotta Tripp's Credentials
 Interview with DWT
 DWT Can Help Even You!
 Cat's Corner - Ishfold, Mog & Widgeon
 Paws for Thought
 Announcing Ishfold's First Novel!
 Hexting - The Power of a Cat's Curse
 Felidicta - A Cat's Dictionary
 Letters to Ishfold
 Is Dame Wotta Scary in Real Life?
 Cats Everywhere!
 Does Ishfold Have A Girlfriend?
 How To Stop Coughing
 Justine Is A Bit Curious
 What Is Hyperspace?
 Helping André to Be Himself
 Star Kittens
 Simply Beastly Book
 Digestive Issues
 A Cat's Tail
 Fast And Nasty
 Perfect Mashed Potatoes Every Time
 Out in the Open - Essays by Ishfold
 The Jellyfishies
 Procuring A Human
 Naming Your New Kitty
 Where Does Your Cat Or Kitten Sleep?
 Cat Grooming
 It May Be Your Fault That Your Cat Is Going Bald!!
 The Horse Chestnut Tree
 Cats Are Absolutely Wonderful!
 Making Guests Welcome
 Looking Reproachfully At People
 Opposable Thumbs and Wings
 Send an E-Card
 Wotta Tripp Dating
 Cold Dawn
 My Spud-Muffin
 Pixie Pleasures
 Stalk Only Me
 Sweet 'n' High
 Wotta Arrangement! - Marriages Arranged Just For You
 Please Arrange My Marriage, Wotta Tripp!
 Place A Personal Advertisement Free
 Dating Testimonials
 Night Letters Romance and Relationship Advice
 How To Meet The Right People
 How To Behave When You Go On A Date
 The Dangerous Side Of Love
 Your Decision - Ethics Versus Morals
 How To Become More Confident
 Do Your Emotions Betray You?
 Effective Communication
 How Can I Save My Relationship?
 Money And Romance
 Turn The Heat Up Under Your Relationship
 Keeping Your Relationship Fresh
 In-Laws And Other Monstrosities
 Interference And Manipulation
 Teen Romance
 Is Your Partner Having An Affair?
 How To Catch Them Cheating!
 The Break-Up
 Moving On
 Night Soil - A Moon-Garden of Tips for a Better Relationship
 Secrets Of The Night
 Moth Wings
 Foods Of Love
 The Real Taj Mahal
 Secrets Of Attraction
 The Nature Of Dreams
 Dream Lovers
 Lover's Moon - Love Spells
 Just Two Little Words
 Sex Secrets From The Past
 What Is An Orgasm?
 How To Have Amazing Orgasms
 The Chemistry Of Love
 Games You Can Play
 Tantric Sex
 Pregnancy and Babies
 Sensual Poetry by Ishfold
 I Dream Of You
 Snow Mouse
 All Is Vanity
 Flight Of Birds
 It Isn't Natural
 White Cat
 In the Shadow Of Her Hat
 Shy One
 The Freckle
 Wotta Works Shops
 Wotta Works
 The Green Cat
 Wotta Works Services Shoppe
 Wotta Waters Perfumery
 Spells & Magickal Services
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 Custom Spell-Work
 Occult Advice
 Soul Insurance Services
 Soul Insurance Testimonials
 Free Samples of Heaven, Hell and Much. Much More - Holographic Downloads
 Submit Your ™T-Empirica Testimonials
 Read The ™T-Empirica Testimonials Here!
 Testimonials for Spells and Magickal Services
 The Well of Wotta
 What Happens When I Die, Dame Wotta Tripp?
 Magick Godmother Service
 How To Apply For Godchild Status
 Apply For Godchild Status
 Submit Your DNA Sample Here
 The Happy Godchild Fridge Art Gallery
 Magick Godmother Service Testimonials
 Wotta Tripp Invisible College Of Magick
 WOTTICOM Curriculum
 Letter Writing Services
 About Your Personal Letter
 Personal Letter Order Form
 Eliminate Your Crooked Business Partner
 Fire Your Hideous Boss
 Dump Your Cheating Lover
 Lose Your Selfish Unreliable Friend
 Permanently Alienate The Mother-in-Law From Hell
 I'm Very, Very Sorry
 Will You Marry Me?
 Letter Writing Service Testimonials
 You Need A Darn Good Telling Off!
 Order A Darn Good Telling Off!
 Craig Dooley - the 'Darn Good Telling Off' you ordered has now arrived
 Cy Hunnicutt, The 'Darn Good Telling Off' You Ordered Has Arrived!
 Twyla Pipstaff - The 'Darn Good Telling Off' You Ordered Has Now arrived
 Written Confession
 Absolution Granted!
 Wottribution Has Begun!
 The Dungeon
 Punishment Testimonials
 Did The World End In 2012, Dame Wotta Tripp?
 Beyond 2012 Questions With Answers From Dame Wotta Tripp
 Absolutely Scandalous! - Dame Wotta Tripp's Internet Forum
 Join Absolutely Scandalous! - Wotta Tripp's Internet Forum
 WTF Radio
 Contact Dame Wotta Tripp by Ouija Board
 Advice Letters
 What The Dickens?
 4-Bottle Technique
 Talk Backwards to Me
 Ostrich Leather
 Seeing Eye to Eye on Fidelity Issue
 Delirious Fetish Dressing for Wedding Salads
 Stealing People Is Wrong
 Absolute Loyalty Demanded By Goat Flayer
 Wotta Tripp Is Too Late!
 Amazing Fortune at Bus Stop!
 A Slight Magical Hiccup
 Tantric Mishaps Reveal Inadequate Companion
 Fowl Play
 Swarming With Dwarfs At The 'Ferrets Revenge'!
 Where Do Men Store Their Egos? Straight Shooting Advice
 Pale, Hairless and Would Never Fit In Anyway.
 Demonic Terror Unleashed
 When it Comes to the Crunch
 I Know Where You Live
 Liquored-Up Beasts
 The Dreadful Secrets of Dust
 Dear Dam Wotta Tipp Lady
 Floating Posers Make Retinal Fairies Take Flight!
 Me sheila’s Missing
 Scrupulously Clean Bottom
 In and Out
 Darkness Gathers
 Co-Respondent in Detroit
 Concrete Proof is in the Graham Pudding
 Time to Join the Real World, Baby
 Soul Services
 Man Killed by Enraged Cabbage Whites
 Advice Column Testimonials
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