ADVICE COLUMN LETTER TESTIMONIALS

"What can I say? I took Wotta Tripp's advice regarding a personal matter and it was resolved as she said it would be. I finally have the cell to myself and 'Werepig' is now confined in a high-security mental hospital for the criminally insane. Worked like a charm! Thanks a lot, Dame W."

Jake P.  

"I don't usually write testimonials but Dame Wotta Tripp has changed all that. I took her very good advice and now find myself eager to face each new day. My exciting new career in the security business gives me a legitimate outlet for my testosterone-driven aggression. I don't have to wait long for opportunities. Things come up all the time, and my job is to put them back down again and I do it very well, only now I don't get arrested. I recommend this service."

Lenny

"First of all, I would like to thank Dame Wotta Tripp for her advice to Jean & I - it saved our marriage. Jean was a bit miffed because she didn't know if she wanted the marriage saving. She said it ruined all the new plans she was making. I did what Wotta Tripp said though, and afterwards Jean came round immediately when I administered the smelling salts, an old-fashioned but apparently effective remedy."

Walt O'.

"Dame Wotta Tripp's advice has been a source of guidance and inspiration to me. I no longer disconnect incoming calls when I'm enduring PMS or a hangover. I'm civil to people, rarely lose my temper on the phone anymore and it's almost a year since I dispatched a 911 response to an incorrect address deliberately. My desire to play pranks has vanished. I feel Dame Wotta made me a better, more well-rounded human being."

Emergency 911 dispatcher

"I had to write to Dame Wotta Tripp for help with a very dark problem I was having. The frank letter I got back was full of exactly the kind of advice I needed. A no-nonsense approach and a firm hand were what I required to reign in my aberrant behaviour. Finally I feel able to leave the cottage and go into town without putting on a mask or carrying a net and a bow and arrow."  

Sylvia D.

"Dame Wotta helped me with an addiction that had gotten out of hand. I was addicted to the undeniably delicious old-fashioned remedy for colic in babies, gripe water. At the time I sought help I was drinking upwards of a dozen bottles a day, going from pharmacy to pharmacy and hanging round Mothercare stores until I was forcibly moved along. After following her strict instructions and wise counselling for three months I was finally gripe water free. 6 months next week! I am so very grateful to Dame Wotta!"

Chaz H.

"I feel so lucky to have found Dame Wotta Tripp. She helped me solve a long-standing problem & I'm very grateful for her input. For years my neighbours made my life a living hell. The horrible noise, the drunken escapades, people coming & going all hours. Not to mention the practical jokes, the nudity, the thefts and the police visits. After pumping their garage full of liquid Styrofoam in the night, cars with windows down et al, we finished up by carrying out the secret instructions we had received. Worked like a charm, and they're carrying out their filthy furniture to the moving van as I write. Priceless advice. I would tell people to use this service if they asked me."

John W.

"I'm so glad I wrote to Dame Wotta Tripp for advice. I didn't know what the hell to do next. I was being stalked by a rabid woman who had decided that I was the one for her. She turned up everywhere. One night she leaped out from behind a bush and came at my throat. The woman is barking. I took Wotta Tripp's advice and also purchased a couple of magic spells. Never tried the 'voodoo' type of stuff before, but it worked like a charm, hah, hah! Upshot: 1 mad-woman gone, 1 happy customer. Recommended services."

Spike D.

"What a great relief to find a solution for my problem finally. The simple herbal remedy did the trick - amazing what works, isn't it? Everyone I try to stay close to is so relieved and I finally feel like I can go out and enjoy family occasions without all the attendant fuss and embarrassment, comments and rude stares. I've been given my life back. Myself and all my family and friends gives heartfelt thanks to Wotta Tripp."

F.M.

"It's all grown back now. Thanks so much!"

C.P.

"I will always be grateful to Dame Wotta Tripp for her very fine advice. She made me realise that I was worth so much more than my ex-boyfriend kept me believing. I discovered I was a perfectly acceptable lady with many talents. I am not perfect - nobody is - but I'm a pleasantly plump, attractive, near-sighted, lady with ADD, curly hair, a slight over-bite and a normal sexual appetite who loves to nurture people rather than a, and I quote: "fat, plain, four-eyed, brain-dead, frizzy-haired, buck-toothed tart who lets people walk all over you." Well. he's not walking over me any longer and he also had to shell out some hard cash for a new wardrobe, new tires and a new waterbed as well as spending a weekend mopping up after a flood. Perhaps he'll think twice before treating someone else like that! Thanks for the most excellent advice!"

June A.

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