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Keeping Your Relationship Fresh

April 2012
Written by: Dame Wotta Tripp

Is Your Relationship Feeling Like A Comfy Old Slipper?

You have been together for a while now and are becoming worried that your relationship is getting more and more boring and, well, stale.

However comfy it may sometimes be, nobody really wants an arrangement that feels like an old slipper.

What can you do to ensure that you both stay in love and eager to spend many happy hours together?

Quality Time
For a start you can make sure that a certain percentage of the time you spend together is quality time. It means doing something together that you both really enjoy. This will make new memories that you will cherish over the years.

If you continue to create good memories then you won't be stuck looking back to the beginning of your relationship and thinking that they were the only good times that you experienced together.

If you drink heavily, keep a photographic record of everything, otherwise you might never remember that any of it ever happened in the first place.

Subtle Communications
Keep in contact when you're apart with a meaningful but unobtrusive text or eCard. A simple little message such as "I hope your day is going well", or "I love you, honey" can make a big difference.

A note or treat left in a lunch-box or pocket, an occasional delivery of flowers, a nice new shirt - you get the idea.

It's good to know that you're being thought of sometimes when you're apart.

Saying "I Love You" and "Thank You"
It's important to tell your sweetheart how much you love and appreciate them. Don't make a habit of taking everything out on your poor partner.

Texting him and telling him to enjoy his last day on Earth, or breaking the news that the horrible oil painting her best friend did has met with an awful 'accident' that has left it irreparable is not the way to go about things.
Some gestures are poorly thought out and insensitive, if not downright stupid. The following sad story illustrates the point:
Wotta Tripp received a letter from an angry carpenter named Ross who couldn't forgive his wife for having two dozen pink roses delivered to him on the construction site where he was working one lunch time. He was never allowed to forget it and he never lived it down, especially as he was now generally known as 'Rosy' instead of Ross.
He confided in his letter that it was at this point that he actually stopped even liking his wife, but some men are notoriously neurotic

You must be kind to each other.

Each stay on the planet is but a short one, unless you have learned the trick of relative immortality, which few people understand and only a handful actually employ at the present time. But I digress.

Write a heartfelt love letter of passion and appreciation and send it to your lover through the mail. They will be able to take it out and look at it whenever they need reassuring of your love and care.

We all need to feel appreciated and adored as we travel through our frequently short, miserable and painful lives.

Show Physical Affection
A gentle touch, a kiss, a special look. Little things like this can help maintain closeness in a relationship.

By the same token, the opposite applies also. If you snap like a famished alligator even when dealing with relatively small problems, it may become a little wearing for your partner.

Do you nag, whine, complain, wheedle and manipulate to get what you want? So do most people, but that doesn't make it nice.

Try instead to stay calm, positive and affectionate. Hug your partner, comfort them and ease their anxiety when you can. It will be very much appreciated, and what goes around comes around.

It's a lot better than striking them or putting laxatives in their morning coffee

Taking Care of You for Them
Keeping healthy and fit is easier for some people than others, but it's important to take control of and responsibility for your own health as far as is possible.

It's a true and valuable gift to give to yourself, your sweetheart and your family, unless they actually wish to be rid of you.

Even although you will age and may suffer from imperfect health, staying young and passionate in mind and spirit will give you the spark to carry it through to the bitter end with something approximating joy.

Listen More
If you talk a lot, try really listening properly for a change and paying very close attention to what your partner is telling you.

Listen sincerely and honestly, and make sure your lover feels appreciated.

Of course, if they are telling you that they may have accidently transmitted to you a brand new STD, or something equally irritating, then perhaps instead you should talk over them loudly and with a smidgen of hostility while you are packing your own things and shredding their wardrobe with a letter-opener.

Carry On Dating
Go out on dates together, even if your relationship lies among the more mature and well-seasoned variety. Dates together will help to keep your relationship fresh.

Pretend that you met not long ago and prepare carefully for your tryst. Dress to impress, relax and enjoy.

Try for a date between one and four times a month. Of course, if you really enjoy it and are in a position to do so, you can go out and paint the town red every night - it's all up to you.

Do Something Brand New Together
Putting a little excitement back in your time together is a great way to freshen up your life and make you both feel more alive.

Keep It Fresh!
Doing something with a slightly dangerous edge can bond you more firmly and reignite the sputtering lamp of love. A little adrenalin, a little bravery and some mutual admiration can add an attractive new gloss to the battered surface of your togetherness.

Something a bit extreme might be in order: bungee jumping, rock-climbing, sky-diving, white water rafting - these kind of activities can bring you much closer together, assuming you both survive your ordeal.

Travel broadens the mind. Go somewhere exciting together, somewhere that will make you both feel renewed, unless you succumb to some pestilence while away.

A walking holiday will not only broaden your mind, but it can also down-size your bottom.

An Air of Mystery
People tire of each other when they believe that there is nothing new to know or discover. Always hold a little back, leave a little more to discover and maintain a slight air of mystery.

Of course, if you have not told the truth about your background and past, nurture many dark secrets close to your bosom and own a closet full of rattling skeletons, then you may indeed have a perfectly valid air of mystery about you, although it may not be to anyone else's taste.

Change happens in everybody's life. People are meant to evolve and grow, learning and unfurling new shoots in the warm, rarefied air of self-education, self-exploration and hopefully not self-abuse.

Sometimes things change so much that couples move further and further apart and then one day discover that they can't find their way back to each other. While this is very sad, in some instances separating is truly the best thing to do.

Perhaps you have only drifted apart because you have ingested such a vast quantity of controlled substances and alcohol that you can't find each other. Maybe you have even forgotten where you were both living.

It might still probably be best for you to separate and go your individual ways, even if you have to do it on all fours.

Not every relationship is meant to last forever, and sometimes it's better for everyone concerned if there is a parting, however painful it seems at the time. You will recover, given time.

Not only is there somebody out there somewhere who will be right for you, there is more than one person who potentially could be 'the one'.

Hell on Earth
A bad relationship is the equivalent of Hell on Earth.
Dame Wotta Tripp is constantly amazed at how many people fail to realise this. And you won't go to hell or any equivalent of hell if you separate, divorce or re-marry.

Hell is being stuck in a very bad relationship, with interfering in-laws who never grow a day older or less vituperous, and not being ever able to escape.
Remember, none of this has anything to do with any of the world's many religions, which are merely man-made systems created to control large amounts of people at once, while keeping them separated from each other. The practice of these systems causes the heart's energy centre to shut down, severing connections, cutting you off from true spirituality and sowing the seeds of discord and intolerance.

You Can Make It
In order to live and experience life fully, you should first not be lying somewhere unconscious and next be able to flow with the numerous changes that life inevitably brings, while constantly trying to develop coping strategies that are not ingested in the form of pills and powders.

Working side by side with love and patience, if you share similar goals you will be able to find new ways to strengthen, harmonize and enhance your lives together.
Go Back To Night Letters


Wotta Tripp gives out tips that conntain advice on keepig your relationship fresh.





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