Fire Your Hideous Boss
Attn: Ms. Irene Trotter
Palmer & Davis Ltd.
Jan 29 2012
Re: My Resignation
It is with little regret that I tender my resignation, effective immediately.
Working for you has been the low-point of my life and I have decided that rather than subject myself to a moments further torture at your fair hands I would rather walk naked through flaming brambles backwards.
You are without doubt the most self-serving, egotistical and devious old baggage I have ever had the misfortune to share air with.
From the moment I was moved to your department you made sure to make every day a misery for me.
It takes a strong woman to admit her errors, but perhaps an even stronger one to blame most of them on me, your erstwhile whipping boy.
Your slate is wiped perpetually clean by the sweat and tears of the staff that struggle beneath you weakly as you violate them repeatedly in order to sate your twisted desire to misuse power and intimidate people.
I have to salute you for your perseverance, because you never missed a single opportunity to humiliate me, and if that opportunity was not apparent you would swiftly create one with skill and finesse.
I always thought you looked rather like Miss Piggy on steroids, but that is merely my humble opinion. I have heard the opinions of other people in the office, and they are not quite so flattering.
There are a few things you should know:
· At least 2 people routinely spit in your morning coffee.
· It was someone in the office who keyed your car & slashed the tires last year. I'm pretty sure it will happen again at some point, though. Hah!
· There is a photo of your arse circulating through several departments as well as on the internet, taken when you bent over to tie your Doc Martins.
· Everybody hates you and hopes you contract Mad Cow Disease, which would be most fitting.
· For the last year I have been writing a blog about you, which includes details of all the disturbing things you have said and done day by day. Today I'm going to put your real name in it, add the arse photo and email the link to everybody in this building, as well as to all our competitors.
Have a nice day, you crazy bitch.
George D. Leaming