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How To Catch Them Cheating!

December 2011
Written by: Dame Wotta Tripp

Are You Suspicious?

Do you suspect that your partner is cheating on you?

If you do, then statistics show that your feeling is most likely correct, especially if you're a woman.

Understandably you are upset, unless you needed an excuse to end your relationship, but remember, you really do need proper confirmation before acting on your intuition.

To get this vital confirmation that a spouse is cheating, many people decide to spy on their significant other, and after all, there really is no better proof than catching a cheater in the act.

For heterosexual ladies, when it's time to confront your wayward lover, you must first sit your partner down and give him the opportunity to be honest with you.

Look him directly in the eye as you ask him the following very important question:

"Has anyone else been telling you off?"

You will see immediately from the look in his eyes whether your suspicions are correct or not.

If he looks like a terror-stricken deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming juggernaut then you are right to be worried, unless he is staring at some impending disaster that you are as yet unaware of approaching rapidly from behind you.

Since there are no absolute guarantees that cheating is going on, even with the above mentioned and other signs present, additional steps should certainly now be taken.

These steps can and should include monitoring cell phone calls, viewing the cell phone bill, and possibly hiring a private investigator.

One of the possible downsides of spying on what you believe to be a cheating significant other is the fact that it may take up a considerable amount of your time, but hiring a licensed PI can be horrendously expensive and is beyond the budget of many people.

Nowadays the internet makes it relatively easy for people to develop secret relationships and to carry out nasty little affairs covertly online.
But it also makes it easier to catch your cheating soon-to-be-ex out, and you may be able to do so in just a few simple steps.

The easiest way to catch a cheater who uses the internet is to install a keyword tracker program, also commonly referred to as a keylogger, on their computer.

These programs record every word that is typed when using the computer. It will allow you to examine emails, chat sessions, searches and more.

Spending a few extra dollars to purchase a program, as opposed to using a free version online, is advised. Many of these programs are marketed as internet safety tools for parents.

Your computer's internet history may indeed become a wealthy source of harrowing information for you, but it's far better to know the sordid truth for a variety of very good reasons.

Shady History
Most computers allow you to check the websites visited within the last two weeks or so. Click on the history icon button, which should be apparent in the top left area of your monitor screen, and proceed from there.

What websites has your significant other visited in the past few days? Be on the lookout for adult chat rooms, pornographic websites, dating websites and so forth.

Be very suspicious of no information at all!

Has your computer's internet history recently been cleared? There are very few good reasons why it should all have been deleted.

I Spy!Remember that many wily cheaters research ways, especially online, to not get caught. A cleared internet history is a good sign that your husband, wife or other might have something to hide.

The crafty little weasels!

Different cheaters cheat in different ways. You might assume that your husband or wife is having inappropriate relations with another living being on a daily basis, but it may only be weekly or even once a month.

This means it could take a while for you to actually catch your cheater in the act, and remember, when spying on what you believe to be a traitorous lover, it is important to remember that you can get caught while checking up on them.

Unfortunately, many of those doing the spying believe that this will just not happen, but it quite often does. And if your partner catches you before you find out the truth you'll be dealing with an entirely new problem!

Here are some practical tips:

Wear a disguise. Not only does this make your outing more exciting, it will give you an opportunity to buy a brand new wardrobe. Don't stop here, though. Get yourself a wig and a hat as well as a large pair of dark glasses. If you're a woman, change your make-up style. If you're a man and you've always wanted to experiment, now would be a good time to do it.
Use a friend's car or rent one to lessen the chances of you being spotted while you're spying. With that said, be sure to always have a plan in place if you do happen to get caught. Be prepared to spend a lot of time just lurking around.
Tell someone where you are going - just in case. You don't want to turn up missing! Stranger things have happened.
Take a camera. You may need a visual record. A selection of photographs recording the adulterer and the co-respondent meeting and spending time together will prove useful. If you can sneak up on them and get shots of them together in restaurants, or even more intimate ones without risk to your person, then go ahead! And after all the fuss has died down, think what wonderful gift-cards the photos could be turned into so they can be sent to select people!
If you do see your traitorous erstwhile other-half canoodling with someone else, resist the urge to slash the tires or key the car of either person (Dame Wotta Tripp will assume that there are no more than two people involved). It's vital that you remain not only the wronged and wounded party, even though it's no party for you, but also in the right. Restrain yourself until after the separation or divorce. It matters not whether revenge is served as a hot, lukewarm or cold dish, as long as it is served spiked with the appropriate venom.
Enjoy yourself! Make a whole day (or night) of it. Pack a nice picnic meal and plan on rewarding yourself with a treat after your tiring vigil. Go shopping or take in a movie. Buy a good book and a take-out meal and then go and put your feet up at home. Have a hot bath to relax, or work-out to relieve tension and aggression.
Be patient! One day soon you will be free to love again, unless your suspicions were dead wrong and you were discovered spying on your lover. In this instance, even if your relationship withstands your unreasonable suspicions and insane jealousy, you may still never live down the humiliation and gossip.

Are You A Cheat?
'Why is cheating considered so wrong?', I hear you whine.

Many people believe that monogamy isn't natural for human beings. This may or may not be true, but it doesn't really matter. What does the irreversible damage is the broken trust, the lying and the betrayal.

The trick here is to not begin a committed relationship and make a promise of monogamy to someone if you can't, don't want to or don't believe you can be faithful.

Some people go ahead because they think that what you don't know can't hurt you.

Let's see. What you don't know certainly can hurt you.
If you don't have the imagination to figure out the many ways this is possible, then Wotta Tripp advises you to remain single or date others who believe in open relationships. Then you will have done nothing wrong.

When you make a promise to someone, then you should keep it.
If you later find that your feelings for your partner have changed, and you make the mistake of cheating, you should try and be honest, even if you are now proven to be a hoodwinking, philandering, duplicitous, double-crossing mountebank and low-life.

It's better to end the relationship if you can't uphold your side of the contract than to live with someone who loves and trusts you while deceiving them.

Life happens, but you can still behave as honourably as possible under changing and challenging circumstances.

If you want to be able to sleep at night as you get older and hopefully wiser then take responsibility and make sure that the people you have shared your life with are treated fairly and receive the necessary help they need before you move on.

Clean up your messy nest behind you as best you can, and treat the poor cuckold with a little respect.

Your sadly duped ex-darling probably deserves better, but if there's not a snowball's chance in hell that they're going to get it from you, then you must try and deal with them as kindly as you know how.

They will get over you, and probably a lot quicker than you would like!
Back To Night Letters 


Dame Wotta Tripp advises what you should do if you suspect your partner is cheating on you.




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