Submit Your DNA Sample Here
Below you will find a section named 'The Gallery of Tongues'. It is here that you must deposit your DNA sample if you wish to be considered as a godchild.
Before you proceed, you must make sure that your monitor screen is clean. This is obviously so that cross-contamination doesn't occur, but also because basic hygiene is more important than many people realise.
Whereas in the 'Punishment' section people who are applying for chastisement are asked to kiss the screen over 'The Shoe of Wotta' to donate a DNA sample, in this instance a tongue-print is required.
Simply view the images in 'The Gallery of Tongues' and select the tongue which most closely resembles your own. You may wish to check in a mirror first, or ask a friend to help.
Next, select the thumbnail for whichever tongue you have chosen and click on it to enlarge the image.
Finally, but with no romantic feelings attached (this is important. We don't wish the sample contaminated with an over-abundance of hormones), place your tongue firmly on top of the image of the tongue you pre-selected, leaving a good, clear tongue-print on the appropriate area of your monitor screen.
You will find that your tongue-muscle is extremely strong and vigorous, so use this asset to ensure the print is clear. The staff at Wotta Tripp are well prepared with both a large supply of latex gloves and a state-of-the art 'Quantum DNA Resonator'.
Please remove any lipstick, lip gloss or medicated creams before complying.
Your application will be processed and you will be notified of your status in due course. Thank you. DWT Advice.
Please Note: your DNA will never be sold, bartered, given away or used in any way but to pre-assess you as a potential client of Dame Wotta Tripp Advice. Your sample will be temporarily held on file, but will be permanently erased after use. This will not affect your health adversely in any way.
The Gallery of Tongues