Spice It Up!

If your relationship is changing from 'fiery' to 'fizzle' it's time to fan the flames of desire before those flames sputter and go out altogether, leaving a lingering odour of damp, spent gunpowder in the bedroom.

So if your favourite sexual position is now 'sleeping' you are not going to have that sizzling relationship you are longing for.

 

There will be no more fireworks unless you begin to make an effort.

Take the initiative in your tired old relationship and turn up the heat a notch. How?

Do not worry! Dame Wotta Tripp has plenty of fabulous tips to help you revitalize your fading and pathetic love life.

It's not your fault, it's the fiendish pressures of modern life, especially if you are bringing up a family as well.

If you admit to children you will have to get even more creative, and it's a good idea to try and locate a few babysitters that you can rely on so that you can both experience time alone again, just like you used to once, long, long ago.

Being stuck for a babysitter isn't much fun, but if you feel proactive you might like to try organizing a local group of parents to take turns looking after each other's children so that you can each go out on a date once or twice a month. Just make sure it's with your own partner.

Sizzling Mood-Setting Tips:
Certain things are known for setting a sexy mood, so it would be wise to apply and use some of them:

• Hot and spicy food. Spicy peppers produce a feeling of wellbeing by promoting the release of endorphins into your body. This puts you both in a great mood and brings a sense of contentment and relaxation that can easily lead to a romantic mood as spicy as the food. Enjoy!
• Flambé for drama and romance. A sinfully decadent desert can be a definite turn-on. Look up an exotic Cherries Jubilee recipe or similar. You can always take it into the bedroom with you once you've put it out. Try not to involve the fire department, it tends to put a dampener on things, unless you're a certain type of person.
• Spicy drinks. How about a good-quality pepper-infused vodka? A tall Bloody Mary? After a good meal, a rich, creamy and velvety hot chocolate with a dash of capsicum added is an aphrodisiac that anyone can enjoy.
• Sex toys. You can purchase good quality adult toys online and most towns now sheepishly claim possession of an unappetizing-looking 'sex shop' with a bored-looking assistant seated at the helm. Don't be intimidated. The days when you had to wear a disguise when visiting such an establishment are long gone, whether you are a man, woman or other. Hold your head up as high as you can in the state you're in and march right into the shop. Your sex toys will be hygienically wrapped. Be certain you don't accidently purchase one that is unwrapped and put specially on the counter to try out. Once home with your four or five prizes, don't let the dog or cat get them! Expensive as they are, they can quickly be completely ruined by cats. Some of them can actually disappear in two gulps if you have a large canine. Putting them through the dishwasher if you get them back will not help. This is the dangerous and unsanitary downside of enhanced frolicking equipment.
• Soft sexy pink lighting and/or scented candles. A sexy ambience is what you are trying to achieve. Use your imagination with exotic fabrics and incense. Create a tempting boudoir of delights in which you and your lover can explore new ways to please each other. This does not mean the back of an old VW bus.
• Chocolate. Share delectable fresh strawberries, raspberries and cherries dipped into delicious, warm, melted chocolate fondue. A box of truffles, dark chocolate and raspberry gourmet ice cream, chocolate liqueurs and rich, smooth, decadent mousse - who could resist?
• Sweet treats. Rose or violet-flavoured candies, Turkish delight, sugared almonds - all love-related foods that you can hand-feed to one another.
• Set the mood with music. Make sure you choose something sexy or romantic. Please don't put on Twisted Sister or AC/DC.
• A real log-fire. Of course, if it's hot where you live, or mid-summer, this might not be such a good idea unless you want to lose extra weight. For chilly winter evenings, however, it's perfect. Throw a fake fur rug down in front of the blazing fire. Stray sparks are usually put out fairly quickly when two people are rolling around on them. Wotta Tripp stresses 'fake fur' because she doesn't see why any creature should have to suffer unnecessarily, but if you do choose to ignore her excellent advice, for heaven's sake don't use a goat-hide rug. Not only are they quite painfully coarse against human skin, but you will retain the odour of a goat for several days, even after showering, and this is not neccessarily attractive in a human.
• Cook together. Share a glass of wine or beer and cook a simple but intimate supper together. Eat it cuddled up in bed or on the sofa. For a change, throw a blanket on the floor with plenty of pillows and have a picnic before making love right there.
• Strew flowers or petals around your love nest. They don't have to be roses, but using such plants as thistles, poison ivy and nettles is not the sort of practical joke or revenge tactic Wotta Tripp advises her clients to practice upon each other, so please resist any temptation you might feel.
• Use a new cologne or perfume. Select something exciting, passionate and a little daring that you've never used before. Visit the Wotta Waters Perfumery for inspiration.
• Give your sweetie something to look forward to. Let them know by whispering in their ear or telling them on the phone what you want to do with them later on. Choose what you say very carefully. The trick is to build pleasant anticipation, not suspense and trepidation. You don't want them to be worn down with fear and worry by the time you meet later on.
• Kiss more often. Kissing is the doorway to other intimacies and it is worth learning to do very well. It will help bring you closer together again. Take your gum, betel nut or chewing tobacco out first.
• Take the initiative. If you don't usually take the lead, do so now. Instigate an erotic encounter and surprise your lover. The surprise should be a positive one. Don't leap out suddenly at your beloved in a peculiar costume. Injuries have been known to occur.
• Give your lover a full-body massage. Use a gorgeously scented massage oil and heated towels for afterwards.

What other techniques can you pull from your arsenal of steamy tricks?

 

Tantric Sex
A lot of people are beginning to realise the benefits of Tantric sexual practices. These techniques have been used for thousands of years to attain the absolute physical emotional and spiritual heights in blissful lovemaking.

Consider taking a class with your lover, You can also research the subject alone or together on the internet

Novel New Places
Forget the bedroom! In order to put some excitement back in your life, try becoming intimate in more creative places. Your home is full of tables, appliances, chairs, counters and closets.

Please try not to have an accident by demonstrating basic common sense and not stressing objects beyond their ability to withstand your rather strange and unsettling techniques.

Get Out!
Pack a picnic and a blanket and head out to find your own enchanted spot. It could be in the countryside, at the beach or in a park.

It could be at any time of the day or night that suits you both. Just make sure that if you're planning a nude interlude that you select a place that is suitably secluded.

Don't forget to take animal activity into account, other than your own. You won't want to be stampeded by violent wild boar or frenzied llamas while engaging in sexual intercourse unless you are really not very well.

If you have to put yourself in an enticingly 'risky' place in which to indulge in pleasures of the flesh publically, such as an elevator, don't be surprised if you not only get caught, but charged with committing an indecent act in a public place. Real life is not a movie.

Just imagine how difficult and awkward it would be attempting to get to work if everybody behaved in that way. It would become a nightmare, and with a sharp overall rise in disposable latex medical glove sales.

So don't get adventurous to the point of public unacceptability. Dangerous places to have outdoor sex include firing ranges, medieval-themed restaurants, the Ferris wheel and the dodgems at the fair-ground, rope bridges, overpasses, ravines, rowing boats, hot-air balloons and while driving or skating.

Mr. & Mrs. Dress Up
What fun! There are an endless variety of costumes available for your delectation in our modern world.

But what if you have what we might call 'specialty interests'? What if nobody is unwise enough to stock the kind of suit you have dreamed up all alone in that strange mind of yours?

Of course if you are handy with a sewing machine or needle, you can always make your own.

And who knows what future business opportunities may come your way if word somehow gets around that you are willing to create peculiar fantasy costumes without judging your clients.

Indeed, you could put them at ease by wearing your own costume when they visit to discuss a design with you.

 

Reassuring them of your total discretion and making them feel comfortable could seal the bargain and ensure their purchase of your wares.

Always deliver costumes in plain sealed packages with nondescript professional labelling.

Mailing the client a green and blue scaled plastic lizard ensemble in a sheer cellophane wrapper with 'Sordid Sex Suits brought to you by Wanton Wardrobes' printed across it in thick black and red lettering will not bring you repeat business, but instead only lawsuits.

Write Up A Sex Storm!
Write each other a steamy erotic story!

Use fine parchment paper and a real fountain pen. Select brown, red or purple ink. You can even illustrate it if you have the capability.

For a nice last touch you could use a real seal to add the finishing flourish to your letter with red wax.

Not only is this a lovely intimate gift to receive, its the gift that keeps on coming!

Tip for men: Resist the temptation to introduce a third party into your story, such as your lover's best friend or her/his sibling, twin or mother. This may not go down as well as you might be thinking.

The Sweet Shop
If you have a sweet tooth, plan a special outing to a candy store! An 'Olde Fashioned Candy Shoppe' is a great place to find delicious sweeties for you and your sweetie to share together later.

But do take care and play safely, children!

Plan A Special Date
Put together all the elements for a perfect romantic date. Act as though you were still in the earlier stages of your relationship.

 

Go separately to the date even if you live together and meet each other like you once used to do, with happy anticipation.

 

 

Pick a bus shelter or an elegant restaurant where you can be private together.

 

If you can afford it, stay somewhere special overnight, or even for a long weekend. Look for a very nice hotel or Bed & Breakast.

 

For those on a tight budget, you could try camping in warm weather, but this can be fraught with hidden dangers, romantically speaking.

Explore the city or area you are in. Eat out. Visit art galleries or try a play or a movie. Go dancing together. Walk in the park or on a beach.

Do some shopping. Choose some new lingerie or playthings. You know what to do!

Order supper and champagne in your room and prepare to ignite the pilot light of your passion once again.

 

Repeat as often as is necessary or desirable.